There was a time when I thought I would never get pregnant. It's hard to think about those years. I have never felt more alone. I struggled about whether to even go to the lengths I did because I didn't know if it was even God's plan to make me a mother. I would get so upset when my doctor told me I had to skip a month of treatment because of what the drugs were doing to my body. But God had a plan. I just had to be patient. I remember two weeks after my IVF I went to the doctor for my blood test. When the nurse called later that afternoon and told me I was pregnant, the first words out of my mouth were, "I don't believe you." After that, I don't really remember that much. Well, just that Brad had to stick a needle in a place that really hurts so I would be able to maintain the pregnancy. He had to that a lot, by the way. And then on April 25, 2007, God gave me Amelia. And of course, that's a whole other story. I guess God thought since I hadn't killed her by her second birthday, he would bless me with another baby. And Ella is truly a miracle since no medical science was needed. There are days where I question my ablility to mother. There are days where I feel like I am always upset. There are days I just want to stay in bed. But my life would be so lonely without them. All I can give them is my best. I love them more than I thought was possible. And every day I thank God for giving me the most precious children in the world. Happy Mother's Day. And to my mom and my mother in law, thank you for raising me and Brad in loving homes and being great examples we can model for our own kids.
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