Dear Girl Scouts of America and the cute little girl who came to my door several weeks ago,
For many years I have been a faithful and devoted buyer of your delicious delicacies. Heck, I even sold them myself when I was a little girl. It makes my heart flutter when I see the sweet, innocent little girls pedaling them in front of Lowe's, the grocery store, and various other locations as far as the eye can see. I am especially fond of Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs. However, I must say that this year it appears that my voracious appetite for them has waned. I will not let your cookies sabotage my "life style change" that I have been going through. I would love to eat every last cookie in these four boxes--at one sitting, mind you. But, when I was able to fit into a pair of pants today that were 2 sizes smaller than the current pants I was wearing, I decided that as much as I love you Thin Mints (especially you), Samoas, and beloved Tagalongs, it is time that we end or relationship--amicably, I hope. Please know that I will always love you.
7 hours ago